% From: asnd@reg.triumf.ca (Donald Arseneau)
% Newsgroups: comp.text.tex
% Subject: Re: A macros \time like \today ???
% Date: 23 Jul 1993 01:29 PST
% Organization: TRIUMF: Tri-University Meson Facility
%
% OK, this is silly...

\newcount\hour \newcount\minute \newif\ifPM

\def\hourmin{%
 \hour=\time \divide\hour 60
 \minute=\hour \multiply\minute-60 \advance\minute\time\relax
 \ifnum\hour>12 \PMtrue \advance\hour-12 \else \PMfalse \fi
}

\def\mickeytime{\hourmin \begingroup
 Mickey's little hand is 
 \ifnum\minute<11 on the \wordnum{\hour}.
 \else \ifnum\minute>49 on the \advance\hour 1 \wordnum{\hour}.
       \else between the \wordnum{\hour} and the
             \advance\hour 1 \wordnum{\hour}.
 \fi   \fi Micky's big hand is
 \hour=\minute \divide \hour by 5 % 5 minutes per hour-tick
 \multiply\hour by 5 \advance\minute-\hour \divide \hour by 5
 \ifnum\minute>2 \advance\hour1 \fi
 \ifcase\minute on the \wordnum{\hour}\or
 just past the \wordnum{\hour}\or
 past the \wordnum{\hour}\or
 before the \wordnum{\hour}\or
 just before the \wordnum{\hour}\fi.
% Mickey is a celebrity, so he sleeps til noon
 Mickey's eyes are \ifPM open\else closed\fi.
\endgroup}

\def\wordnum#1{\ifcase#1\relax twelve\or one\or two\or three\or four\or five\or
  six\or seven\or eight\or nine\or ten\or eleven\or twelve\or one\fi}

\endinput
%
% sample
%
\documentstyle[mickeytime]{article}

\begin{document}

Now \mickeytime

\end{document}
